Eleanor goes for a morning walk with Apeman

One

Apeman seems frisky as we step outside the house. Nice morning. He takes a picture of me with the hills in the background so I suppose he’s going to push me all the way to the top of the hill. He probably shouldn’t. It always puts him in a bad mood.

Two

He’s in a bad mood. You can tell. He starts to make sarcastic comments about motorists. And he's sweaty. Actually, he's more sweaty than sarcastic. He keeps stopping to take photos. I think he’s tired.

Three

We’re at the top of the hill. Nice view. Apeman is lying on the grass wheezing. I throw him my water bottle to help. It rolls into a bush. Apeman buries his head in the bushes looking for it. He reminds me of the monkeys in the zoo. The ones with the bright red bums.

Four

Apeman is feeling smug. We’re going down the other side of the hill. A tagger has written words of encouragement on a lamp post. Apeman thinks this is funny. He pauses to photograph a bench. He’s getting arty. I take off my shoes and throw them in the gutter to distract him from being arty but he doesn’t notice.

Five

Look! Apeman says and triumphantly produces the camera once again. He photographs a garage. He is trying to make a point to himself about something (God only knows what). He feels pleased with himself. He says good morning to a passer-by. Apeman never does this. He usually pretends that passers-by don’t exist. He must be feeling good. We head off again down the hill at a brisk pace.

Six

We’re at the bottom of the hill. Apeman is hunting through the pram looking for my shoes. Apeman doesn’t seem happy anymore. My shoes aren’t in the pram they’re in the gutter at the top of the hill. I wonder if Apeman knows this.

Seven

Apeman is subdued as we go back up the hill. I scream encouragingly.

Eight

We find the shoes. Apeman picks them up. I expect him to make his red face and shout, but he sort of looks at the shoes and smiles.

Nine

We’re almost home. You can tell because we’re on the street with all the taxis. The rows of taxis all have plastic photos hanging from the rear view mirrors. All of the pictures are of black men. Across the road are some big concrete buildings. Apeman grunts and shoves us on.

Ten

Apeman is pleased to be home. He tells me I must be tired. Apeman seems tired. He puts me to bed. I can hear him saying “Hello? Hello?” in the other rooms. The rooms must be pleased. Apeman is very polite.