Sleep

She looks cute. I think most people looking at this picture will think so. One of the things that changes as you get older is that you don't look cute when you're asleep. If this was a picture of me asleep you'd think:

• Hairy
• Drool(y)
• Why is he holding a bunny rabbit?

It's a shame you aren't allowed to take soft toys to bed when you're older.

An evening with friends

Our last night in Auckland.

A great evening with great people.

Water play

Why do people at creche* say "water play"? Don't they mean playing with water?

Woman at creche - We encourage lots of water play

Apeman - Water play?

Woman at creche - Yes. Playing with water.

Apeman - (guessing) Do you also encourage lots of

foot play?

Woman at creche - Foot play?

Apeman - (explaining helpfully) Playing with feet.**

*This photo is not at creche, it's at Anna and Owen's lovely place north of Auckland and Eleanor is playing with Ruby (and with water).

**This is an imaginary conversation. I'm too much of a wimp to actually say this kind of thing.

Apeman at play

I took Apeman to the park again and let him have a run around. He seemed to enjoy it. He'd been getting grumpy. He had to make lots of phone calls in the morning. Apeman hates the phone. When it rings he looks at it angrily and then stalks across the room and mumbles into it. Whenever I pick up the phone and say hello it just beeps. What does Apeman say to the phone?

Apeman should run around in the park more often. It really cheers him up. Mummy and I watched him bounding across the grass and frolicking in the leaves for awhile and then we called him back to the car. He came back smiling. It was much easier to put up with Apeman after that.

Eleanor shows Apeman Auckland

Apeman forgot that he was supposed to get up at dawn so I could show him the Sky Tower. Luckily I was able to grab his foot from my cot and pull on it until he woke up. It was quite dark and Apeman did a lot of banging into things in the bedroom and waving his hands and cursing then he would tell me to be quiet but I wasn't making any noise. He was probably worried about waking up Mum. This is a sensible thing to worry about.

When we finally got out of the house Apeman was pleased to find that the park was only a few minutes away. There were a lot of people in the park running around and around in circles on the fields. Apeman watched them for a long time and then scratched his bum and said something. It probably wasn't nice because he used the same voice he uses whenever John Key comes on the TV.

We looked for a long time but we couldn't find the Sky Tower.

Eleanor goes for a morning walk with Apeman

One

Apeman seems frisky as we step outside the house. Nice morning. He takes a picture of me with the hills in the background so I suppose he’s going to push me all the way to the top of the hill. He probably shouldn’t. It always puts him in a bad mood.

Two

He’s in a bad mood. You can tell. He starts to make sarcastic comments about motorists. And he's sweaty. Actually, he's more sweaty than sarcastic. He keeps stopping to take photos. I think he’s tired.

Three

We’re at the top of the hill. Nice view. Apeman is lying on the grass wheezing. I throw him my water bottle to help. It rolls into a bush. Apeman buries his head in the bushes looking for it. He reminds me of the monkeys in the zoo. The ones with the bright red bums.

Four

Apeman is feeling smug. We’re going down the other side of the hill. A tagger has written words of encouragement on a lamp post. Apeman thinks this is funny. He pauses to photograph a bench. He’s getting arty. I take off my shoes and throw them in the gutter to distract him from being arty but he doesn’t notice.

Five

Look! Apeman says and triumphantly produces the camera once again. He photographs a garage. He is trying to make a point to himself about something (God only knows what). He feels pleased with himself. He says good morning to a passer-by. Apeman never does this. He usually pretends that passers-by don’t exist. He must be feeling good. We head off again down the hill at a brisk pace.

Six

We’re at the bottom of the hill. Apeman is hunting through the pram looking for my shoes. Apeman doesn’t seem happy anymore. My shoes aren’t in the pram they’re in the gutter at the top of the hill. I wonder if Apeman knows this.

Seven

Apeman is subdued as we go back up the hill. I scream encouragingly.

Eight

We find the shoes. Apeman picks them up. I expect him to make his red face and shout, but he sort of looks at the shoes and smiles.

Nine

We’re almost home. You can tell because we’re on the street with all the taxis. The rows of taxis all have plastic photos hanging from the rear view mirrors. All of the pictures are of black men. Across the road are some big concrete buildings. Apeman grunts and shoves us on.

Ten

Apeman is pleased to be home. He tells me I must be tired. Apeman seems tired. He puts me to bed. I can hear him saying “Hello? Hello?” in the other rooms. The rooms must be pleased. Apeman is very polite.